


You're A Certain Kind Of Terrible

by SolluxanderCaptr



Category: Homestuck, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A little, M/M, Porn With Plot, Trans guy Burgerpants, Vaginal Sex, chub kink, dirty talking, eh, sort of???, they fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:56:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolluxanderCaptr/pseuds/SolluxanderCaptr
Summary: Sollux and Burgerpants finally get it on. Read "Let's Be Cynical Together" to make any sense of this first.





	

**Author's Note:**

> sooooooooooooo its been a year and i promised more to come but the story is i got really confused about guys underwear so i did extensive googling and got More confused and forgot about this. well, here it is now. enjoy lovelie

How many days had he been in Hotland? A week? Two weeks? Maybe more? Sollux didn’t know, and he sure as hell didn’t care. He was enjoying his life, smoking (but not as much as Calvin) and being with his new matesprit. Well, not exactly matesprit, but Sollux held some sort of warm affection for the other person. It was nice.   
  
Calvin had invited Sollux to stay over at his house. Having known no one except him (and maybe Toriel) it was a simple choice.   
  
Sollux didn’t think about whether or not Calvin had good living habits or not. He assumed his living habits were like his- messy and disorganized (as AA called it, but he called it organized chaos). And he was wrong. So, so wrong,   
  
The house was small, smaller than Sollux’s apartment. There were three rooms: the living room/kitchen, a bedroom and within that the only bathroom. Everything in the house was neat and in its place, but maybe that was because Calvin didn’t have a ton of stuff to begin with. There was a worn out couch in the living room and a small T.V. There was a small coffee table in front of the couch, and in between that there was a dull-looking rug. It wasn't anything special, Terezi might have hated it bc of it's lack of bright colors, but the fact that Sollux saw the floor completely amazed him.   
  
"Nithe houthe, Cal," the troll commented when he first entered.   
  
Calvin turned and locked the door. "Was that supposed to be sarcastic?"   
  
Sollux shook his head. "Nah. My apartment back on Alternia was thuper freakin' shitty. Thith ith like, heaven compared to that."   
  
"Do I need to worry about you makin' a mess, bud?"   
  
"Nah," he said again, pressing a kiss to Calvin's forehead. Calvin blushed and playfully pushed Sollux away.   
  
"Stop being gross, Sollux," he remarked.   
  
The troll smirked. "You're groth."   
  
Calvin rolled his eyes. "Well, you're grosser," he retorted. He stood on tip-toe to nuzzle-kiss Sollux's cheek, then went to the fridge.   
  
The taller of the two sat on the couch and thought. He recalled that after the comment about stealing burgers, the two of them had actually ran into the store and Sollux stuffed a few in his sylladex. Calvin, on the other hand, went for the more useful things like their paper towels and plastic utensils.   
  
After they had stolen all they could carry, they ran through the back entrance. And it was good of them to have acted so quickly, because Calvin's glittery boss waltzed through the door just as they left. Honestly, they left the place completely ransacked. More honestly, they didn't give one crap about it. They heard a shriek and footsteps and adrenaline rushed through the two of them as they ran around the store and down toward Calvin's apartment building.    
  
Then, when they arrived at it's entrance, Calvin dropped all of his loot, grabbed Sollux's collar, and kissed him. It was hard and rushed, but it felt good. Sollux remembered how he had immediately wrapped his arms around Calvin's waist and lifted him up a bit. He leaned the cat against the wall and Calvin wrapped his legs around his almost-not-there hips. They stood there for a few minutes, making out with the occasional roll of Calvin's hips. His soft stomach contrasted against Sollux's bony frame, nearly only skin and bones from the strenuous work of his psiioniics.    
  
When Calvin's hips started to ache, Sollux set him down. He whined, but Sollux could see the relief in his eyes when he didn't have to work so hard to keep himself up. Then Calvin had bent down and dusted off the paper towel rolls and plastic forks and spoons, and led the troll into the building.   
  
From there he and Calvin began to joke around and eventually the steamy mood from earlier died. And now he was here.   
  
Sollux was currently in Calvin's room as his... Mate? He guessed, was in the shower. They had remembered the stolen stash of glamburgers and broke into it, but they proved to be slightly harder to eat than expected. When Sollux had bit into it, purple sauce just... Flew everywhere. Calvin laughed but the same thing happened to him. The glamburgers tasted like the stuff on Alternia, but tangier. Like someone had put too much salt in the grubsauce. But there was no grubsauce, so that analogy was down the drain. Much like the sauce on Calvin's face currently was.   
  
And speak of the Devil! Sollux heard the shower shut off and the rustling of a towel and a basically naked (except for the damn towel) Calvin walked out of the door.   
  
Let me put it like this: Sollux had liked Aradia, whose arms and legs were thick due to her constant archaeological work, but her stomach was surprisingly soft. He had also liked Feferi, who, because of Eridan, had never work-worked in her life and all the highblood pampering went to her torso and thighs. God, did he love her thighs. And now troll Jesus was presenting a chubby, adorable, sarcastic meowbeast-monster-who-he-really-liked to him. Christ, he was being so tested right now. If the goal of this test was to not get down and do the do with Calvin, Sollux was about to fail so hard. He could feel his face go yellow-tinted.   
  
"Whoa, Sollux, are you okay?" Calvin worriedly asked, touching a paw to his face. "Oh, God, you're burning up, and you're all yellow, should you be like this, I don't-"   
  
"Yeth I should definitely be like thith," Sollux wheezed out, letting out a breath  he didn't know he was holding. He breathed in deeply, trying to force the blush down. "Me- my rathe hath different blood colorth. Mine ith yellow."   
  
"Oh," Calvin sighed. "So you're sure you're not sick?"   
  
"Unleth being pity-thick ith a thing, then no."   
  
It took a moment for Sollux to process what he'd just said. He told Calvin he pitied him, oh God. Was he even sure he pitied him? Was this a sexual thing? Calvin was certainly endearing, but...   
  
He looked up at Calvin. His round face was frozen in shock. This was all KK's fault, he swore! But as he looked up, he didn't just see someone who was aesthetically pleasing to look at, but someone who made him laugh like FF and AA did and a face that had more than once buried itself in his neck that made butterflies erupt in the troll's stomach. So much could happen in four days.   
  
"P- pity?" Calvin looked confused and offended? Why would he-   
  
Oh.   
  
"Thorry, it'th a troll thing. 'Pity' I think meanth 'love' here?" Sollux explained.   
  
"You... You love me?"   
  
Sollux blinked back only for a moment, then spoke.   
  
"Yeth."   
  
Within seconds, Calvin had pushed himself against Sollux, kissing him furiously. It was like he was reaching back four days and taking back the hot mood. Sollux placed one hand on Calvin's hip and one on his upper back. He kissed back as much as he could, because Calvin kept moving around; it was making it hard to really, actually kiss him. Frustrated, Sollux put a hand under Calvin's chin and held him in place.    
  
"Wha- Mmf!"   
  
Sollux pressed his lips firmly against the monster's. Then, he opened his mouth a little, to lap at the other's lips. He felt Calvin shiver under his hold and he tentatively opened his mouth. The troll hoped Cal wouldn't be freaked out by his forked tongue. And he wasn't. As soon as Sollux slipped his tongue in Calvin's mouth, he moaned. Taken aback, the yellow blood shifted and ended up bringing it up against the roof of Calvin's mouth. He let out a shaky moan. Cute.   
  
Clawed hands wandered around Calvins torso, stopping for a moment to rub a bit at his stomach. The cat's breath hitched and he let out a whine. Sollux smirked as he pressed his thumb down a little on the front of his stomach and dragged it across.   
  
"Hn- hnghh, S- Sol..."   
  
"Yeah Cal?" He felt something tug at his shirt.    
  
"C-can y- you, mmh, ah- T- take this off?" Calvin whispered.   
  
Sollux pressed a kiss to his matesprit's neck and smirked. "Sure."   
  
He wrapped his arms around Calvin again and laid him down on the bed, towel loosening and falling off Calvin’s hips.. He pulled his legs around his hips and quickly took off his shirt. Sollux thanked whatever stupid deity was up there for not letting his shirt catch on his horns.   
  
The troll bent down and kissed Calvin's neck again, and he felt his face heat up. He bent up and whispered, "Hey, Cal, you think I should lothe the pantth too?"   
  
Calvin made a strangled noise and whispered back, "Please."   
  
Sollux chuckled and slipped his pants off slowly. He let them hang on his hips for a moment too long for Calvin, and then he finally dragged them down along with his socks. This left him in his gray boxer briefs. His bulge was already poking out and start to write around.

“Sollux, not to be rude, but like…” Calvin breathed out. “Wh’ the fucks goin’ on with your dick?”

The troll looked down, confused, but then realized. “I have a tentacle dick.”

There was a moment of silence. And then Calvin burst out into a loud, belly-shaking laugh. Now  _ Sollux _ was confused. It was a good minute before the monster calmed down a bit. There were tears in his eyes.

“Oh- oh my God, okay, Jesus,” he giggled. “Okay, uh can I say something sort of weird?”\

Sollux shrugged. “Shoot.”

“Alright, um, tentacles are sort of, like… my biggest fetish.”

Now if Sollux wasn’t already attracted to this man, he  _ definitely _ was now. He didn’t know exactly why but he was. Maybe it was the fact he wouldn’t freak out about it now? Sollux thought about it.

“Sollux~ Underground to Sollux can you hear me?” Calvin teased, snapping Sollux out of his trance. “Okay, good, you’re here. Now,” he started, pulling Sollux closer, “get that shit off already. I want that thing inside me.”

The troll ripped off his underwear at fucking mach 5 speed. He was about to tease his bulge open when Calvin sat up and started rubbing at what little of his bulge was out. Sollux groaned and gripped his matesprit’s shoulders. 

Calvin was thoroughly enjoying playing with the tentacle and drawing it out to its full length. It was average sized, which was pretty big in normal people terms. Aside from being yellow, super slick and having a little, oval-shaped bulge at the tip, it was more or less a normal tentacle. Not that Calvin knew anything about other tentacles. He’d always just assumed things about them. Sollux pressed his face into his neck to reduce the noise coming out of him.

He rubbed the pads of his front paws along the underside of the smooth tentacle. This made Sollux moan extremely loudly, and bite into Calvin’s neck. He hissed in pleasure.

Sollux pushed Calvin back down onto the bed, yellow-faced and panting. Without any warning, he thrusted the whole of his length into Calvin.

“ _ F- fuck! _ ”

Because Sollux knew better, he stilled, giving him time to get used to the stretch. No matter how pliable and soft bulges were, he still need to be adjusted to it. But  _ God _ Calvin was so tight and so fucking  _ wet _ . It was almost a struggle to contain himself.

Calvin grabbed at his arm. The troll looked at him and he nodded. Taking that as the go-ahead, Sollux started shallowly and slowly thrusting into his new partner.

“Ch- Christ, Sollux,” Calvin moaned. “God, this feels am- mazing. It’s so- Ah! So good!”

Sollux pressed his lips to the monster’s as he started thrusting faster. The hard oval tip of his bulge was wiggling around, pressing at Calvin’s walls in different places. He sat back up, took one of Calvin’s thighs in each hand and pressed them against his body, making entrance to Calvin’s cunt much easier. He was panting and biting his lip, sharp meowbeast teeth digging in and making him bleed. Sollux leaned back in to lap at the blood.

At some point, Sollux’s tip pressed against a certain spot and Calvin arched up, a strangled scream escaping him and eyes rolling back up into his head. His claws tore at the sheets.

The troll willed his bulge as much as he could to press there again as he angled for that spot. Calvin’s hips bucked hard into his and his claws travelled up to his back. Sollux felt like he was fucking  _ floating _ .

“Ngh- shit, ah, S- Sollux- Ah!” he moaned out. “Sollux, Sollux Sollux Sollux- Fu- uhck, nn- mmf!”

He pressed his lips hard into Calvin’s as he pistoned his hips into him. Sollux thrusted his tongue into his partner’s mouth once again, tangling with his. Calvin whined into his mouth and grinded hard against him, causing Sollux to gasp and draw back. 

“Fuck, Cal,” he groaned. “Y- you know? You feel th-tho, ngh, fucking good right now? Tho- ah- so fucking good and t- tight around me- Fuck,  _ shit _ \- You’re thqueezing my bulge tho hard right now-”

“Shut- shut the fu- ck up Sollux,” Calvin stuttered out. “Keep- ah- keep going please.”

He muttered a ‘will do’ and drew his hips all the way back and slammed all the way back in. Calvin  _ screamed _ and scratched at Sollux’s back. He whined for him to go harder, faster, fuck he just wanted more. 

Calvin felt something in his stomach coil and he whined out, “Fuck, m’ gonna, gonna cum s- soon!” Sollux pressed a hand on his stomach again, and in fucking him the hardest he could, his hand brushed against Calvin’s clit. His breath hitched and Sollux didn’t fully comprehend what had happened, but he figured the little nub brought Calvin pleasure.  

He started to rub it in rough, small circles. Calvin’s eyes shut and tears pricked his eyes as he tightened-  _ fuck so tight _ \- around Sollux’s bulge. He screamed as he came and Sollux was doing the same, pressing deep into him and bulge thrashing as much he could. He bit into Calvin’s shoulder as he released.

Calvin’s hips shook and pressed against Sollux, letting him fill him with his genetic material. Claws and teeth dug into skin and soon their shared high was over.

The genetic material was already dripping out of Calvin and Sollux hadn’t even pulled out yet. When he did, it near spilled out of Calvin like pouring out a glass of water. He groaned at the feeling but was unable to do anything else do to his limbs feeling like jello. 

As Sollux laid down on the bed properly and pulled Calvin with him, he muttered, “I need another shower” and passed out.


End file.
